Stop Pretending

No no no
I'm fine
I'm fine.
I'm fine
I'm fine
No, I'm not
I learned how to smile before
I learned how to speak
I learned how to say everything
Is good.
When everything was breaking underneath
I became the person
Everybody and singing
Could call
The one who always listened.
The one who never needed anyone at all
I answered every message
I showed up every time
Nobody ever noticed how much it cost
Me to look fine
I carried conversations
With a storm behind my eyes
And every time they ask me
I said
The same damn lie
I'm okay.
I'm okay
That's what
I always say.
But how long
Can a heart keep screaming when you
Teach your mouth to hide the pain
OH, I'M FINE.
[Screaming
NO, I'M NOT.
STOP PRETENDING.
I'm not okay.
Stop pretending.
I'm done
Hiding it away.
I don't have to wear a
Smile just to make you feel all right
Stop pretending
I'm alive.
Stop.
Stop.
Stop stop
I'm alive
I gave advice to people while
I needed to myself
I held together strangers while
I couldn't hold myself
I became so good at giving
THAT NOBODY saw the cost
I kept calling and surviving when
I was
Terrified of what
I'd lost
I said that
I was stronger.
Every time I
Swallow pain, as if admitting i
Was tired was going to make me weak again.
But strength is not pretending
That the wound was never there
Sometimes strength is finally saying i
Can carry this alone anymore.
You're tonight.
I won't explain.
I won't
Decorate the truth to make it
Easier to tell if
I'm hurting, then
I'm hurting.
If I'm
Tired, THEN I'M TIRED.
I don't need to disappear
To prove that
I can fight.
I'm not fine
And that's all right
I'M NOT FINE.
BUT I'm still alive.
Stop pretending
I'm not okay
Stop pretending.
I'm done hiding it away.
I don't have to wear a smile just
To make you feel all right.
Stop.
Stop pretending
I'm alive
Baby, maybe you don't need fixing.
Maybe
You need permission to finally
Admit that this hurts
Maybe you're not broken.
Maybe
You're exhausted from being everything
For everybody else.
Maybe the strongest thing you can say tonight is i
Don't know.
I'm tired.
I need a moment.
And that's okay
I'm done hiding.
I'm done lying.
I'm done smiling when
I want to cry.
I'm done running.
I'm done proving.
I'm done
Being who
I need me to be.
Stop
Stop pretending.
Stop pretending.
I'm
Not okay.
Stop pretending.
I'm done
Hiding it away.
I don't need to look perfect.
I don't need to have it
All right.
I can breathe.
I can breathe
I can cry.
I can heal and
I don't have to apologize
For being human tonight
I'm not fine
And that's all right.
No more.
No more
Hiding from myself.
No more.
No
More being somebody else.
I'm here.
I'm here.
I'm still here.
I'm still here
I don't need to say
I'm fine
I just need to be honest
I'm still here no.
No
I'm not
I'm not fine
I'm fine